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EPISODE SYNOPSIS
The origin of Transformers is plainly laid out. A Digital
Intelligence spreads these being throughout the universe. Cybertron one of first planets
inhabited, just a single stop along the way. [what are they getting
at?] Mini-Cons are smart tools used to boost power. They
eventually escape Cybertron in cool CG cel-shaded ships. Almost TFTM quality animation
here. They drifted for MILLIONS of
years, crashing on our moon. Mini-Cons were thrown all over the
planet as part of the ship crashed on Earth. "And that's where
our story begins".
Show starts with a G1 style bumper.
Style changes. Now it's narration with the kids. This
feels like Digimon. "That's where our adventure
begins." Huh? Didn't we already say that?
Lincoln Middle School. Needless exposition. Alexis
disses Rad. His parents work at a research facility which
happens to be near the school. For absolutely no reason the kids
go into one of the mountains. They're followed by the two Bulk and Skull bullies who screw
up the trail that Rad and Carlos left to keep from getting lost (like
it matters all that much since their rock arrow is within PLAIN VIEW
of the end of their rope). Carlos and Rad end up stepping in the
wrong place and ride a rock luge down into, as Carlos put it, "a
hidden shaft [leading to]... some kind of old chamber."
Thank you, Mr. Exposition. No, Carlos's last name isn't really
"Exposition".
And then there's an ill-placed ad for the first episode airing next
month, spoiling part of the rest of the episode. And the only
time we hear the classic transforming sound. But at least Peter
Cullen was doing the voiceover.
Anyway.
The exposition continues. Apparently a bunch of rusted metal
bits "don't look like they're from Earth". "This
is getting stranger by the minute. Come on, let's keep
looking!" Carlos and Rad come upon a Digi-vice and Rad
touches it. "Sure looks radioactive to me." So
he touches it. It starts an Earthquake as well as to activate some of the ancient computers. Alexis feels the tremors and
somehow tracks them to the nearby mountain. A signal sent from
the Mini-Coc ship goes to the moon. And from there it's shot back
to Cybertron.
Ah, Cybertron. Back on Earth, Alexis freaks out and goes to the
mountain after the quake stops. Rad and Carlos
find their way out (without the aid of the rock
arrow. Why did they even make a big deal out
of it?). As soon as they get outside, a purple
orb appears in front of them, and Galactus, er
Megatron, warps in Terminator 2 style. As his
animation slowly gets worse, little Alexis tells her
"friends" not to run in case they spook
the giant, steadily less-detailed robot. Rad
grabs a Digi-vice laying on the ground and it turns
into a little robot. The little robot scans
the bicycle nearby and transforms. Rad somehow
understands the little dude and the three kids hop
on and scoot off. Megatron barely breaks a
robo-sweat catching up to them, and just as he's
about to crush them, Optimus Prime shows up. That's
right. Optimus Freakin' Prime. Not the
dwarvish Prime wannabe from the toy line, but
window-chested, pipe-armed, yellow-eyed Optimus
Prime ready to kick some Decepticon skidplate.
You know, the kind of toy they wish they could have
made. And, in typical Prime fashion, he comes
out of nowhere and saves the day in the nick of
time. Rock. On. Rad: "I get
the feeling this is all my fault. Most likely the
end of Episode 1. Episode 2... Oh yeah, the
two bullies are still in the cave. As Megatron and
Prime fight, reinforcements show up. Pretty
soon the kids are surrounded by Starscream and
Demolishor, then Red Alert and Hot Shot. The
giant robots don't say anything; they just square
off. The kids run. Alexis manages to
catch the (horribly pixellated) Autobot symbol on
Hot Shot's shoulder before she takes off.
Before anything interesting can happen, the
Decepticons warp out of there. It doesn't take
the Autobots too long to figure out they must have
set up shop on the moon. Which is in fact
exactly where the three Decepticons end up moments
later. Cyclonus welcomes them back, even
offers to find Mini-Cons. Meanwhile (I hate saying
this), the kids are trapped inside a cave, which Rad
cleverly points out means that they can't be
followed. Their little metal companion leads
them into the remains of his crashed ship, where Rad
wastes no time figuring out the entire plot to the
show merely by guessing, using no facts to back up
his claims other than "it's the only thing that
makes sense". Well, okay, he did access
the Mini-Con computer. The Mini-Con opens up a
chamber and Alexis and Carlos get their own Digi-Vices...
I mean, Mini-Cons. It's a real E.T. moment. *coughs* Where
the heck did Prime go after that fight? Well,
he's standing around somewhere, and scans a truck
passing harmlessly through the desert. And it
didn't even look like the original Prime
truck. What a disappointment. Anyway...
the kids are scooting around on their new Mini-Cons
when they run into Megatron in his new form!
And it wasn't bad enough that they are being chased
by a big robot, but he can transform as well?
Sheesh! It's not long before the kids are
surrounded by the four Decepticons. But who
shows up again in the nick of time! Prime the
trukk (not munky, even though it's Gar(r)y
Chalk. How strange is that?)! He runs
over Megatron. Both of them just sit there and
smolder for a little bit. Prime drives by and
tells them to get in -- and Alexis spies a badly
pixellated symbol on the truck. Demolishor
tries to get in Prime's way, but he just runs him
over! Woo! It's not too long before they are
followed, and Prime merges with his trailer, and we
get to see the Autobot symbol animated CLEARLY for
the first time during the show! Cue some
needless exposition by Rad. End episode 2?
Episode 3... Prime gets shot. "Oh
no! He's hit!" My friend?
Megatron merges with Leader-1 and fires his cannon,
but the force of the blast knocks the Decepticon
back! So Megatron starts firing like mad and
almost kicks his own ass in the process. The
shots cause a landslide and the Autobots go to save
the kids. But what's this? Megatron's
carelessness uncovers three Mini-Cons! Red
Alert and Hot Shot grab two and start kicking the
butts of the Decepticons. Sure, it makes it
seem like the bigger bots are weak without a
Mini-Con. But at least Megatron has the
presence of mind to realize that his troops are
incompetent (one of the best lines EVER), and he
teleports them all out of there. Now, it's
flashback time. Remember, this IS the third
episode after all. Oh yeah, and there's a Care
Bears commercial. I guess the return of the
eighties really IS upon us. Anyway, Prime starts
telling the kids that they shouldn't get into the
fight (thankfully SOMEONE thinks that). But...
the kids convince him otherwise. Oh, and Hot
Shot nearly beans Carlos in the head. It was
sweet. Ah, um. Well. That's about
it. Billy likes Alexis. That's about
it. And completely out of nowhere.
Anyway... Well, there's this really badly animated
fight scene between Starscream and Demolishor on the
moon, but I don't want to talk about that. And
the cave is gone. And all the tracks the
Autobots left behind are gone. And the kids
get to see the inside of the Autobot ship. And
Prime gives Laserbeak to the kids. And then
they get a signal that a bunch of Mini-Cons are
coming online. It's Go-Bot fightin' time!
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